Half-Assed Movie Reviews

September 17, 2008: Righteous Kill

The casual Half-Assed Movie Reviews reader might wonder why I continue to bombard myself with known crappy movies, rather than pursuing potentially more rewarding cinematic avenues, such as my stated goal to have filled in the gaps in my Best Picture viewing back to 1960 prior to the awarding of the next Oscars.  Should I be watching the Billy Wilder classic The Apartment, or should I be watching a contrived and overwrought police thriller just because Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are both headed towards senility and decided that this would make for an easy paycheque?

I’m a De Niro fan.  He’s a perfect storm of my love of 1970s cinema, Martin Scorsese, gangster films and, yes, silly comedies.  Go and see Meet the Parents.  It may sound like a dumb idea for a movie, but De Niro is great at comedy when he puts his mind to it.

I’m a Pacino fan.  While for some reason I don’t love Serpico the way everyone else seems to, you can sign me up any day to watch any Godfather movie, Scarecrow, The Panic in Needle Park, …And Justice For All, or just about any of his other 1970s output.  His 1990s entries are more hit-and-miss in my books, but Carlito’s Way is a forgotten gem, similarly Donnie Brasco, and Frankie and Johnny is a nice departure from the norm for him.  I even happen to like Scent of a Woman, although I haven’t reviewed it recently so I might find myself cringing as I see the actual turning point when he transformed into the crazy yelling and screaming Pacino who built through the 1990s and has been omnipresent in mid-budget filler for the last 10 years.  And I suppose a mention of Scarface is essential.  While not an obsessive fan of the film as some are, the Special Edition sits proudly on my DVD shelf and I sometimes immerse myself in that early-1980s aesthetic and one of Pacino’s most passionate performances.

What am I not a fan of?  Poorly-written movies with predictable or stupid dialogue and predicatable or stupid twists.  The two leads are playing a mix of caricatures of themselves and caricatures of their intended characters, and while a full-assed reviewer might know whether to pin these issues on the writer, director, or the studio exec who greenlighted this in the first place, I’m simply left baffled.  Sure, I knew it would be bad.  I can read reviews.  Two of the acknowledged greatest living actors are appearing in only their third film EVER together (and only the second in which they shared any screen time aside from scene fades), so I’ve got to give it a chance, but is it unreasonable to expect it not to suck?

The thing is, the supporting cast is pretty good.  Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg seem to be far better written and taking the proceedings far more seriously than their towering co-stars.

Does that make it worth watching?  Nope.